You May Not Know This About Me

1. I learned how to sew before I ever knew how to read. Thanks, Mom <3 This is so important to me and defines me so completely that it had to be No. 1. 
2. I have been this exact size AND shape since the summer between 7th and 8th grade.  Yeah.  Think about it.  Yikes.
3. I had never been behind the wheel of a car until the very first day of driver's ed class--yes, I was that girl.  To make matters worse, in my little town in Utah, if you were able to touch the break pedal, you were allowed to drive farm equipment--it was all very Footloose.  PS - Parts of Footloose were actually filmed in my little town!
4. At 5-years-old, I swallowed a 36-inch, 14kt-gold neck chain. My dad's gold letterman football was hanging on it and Mom had worn it since their high school days. I was rushed to ER; X-rayed and Mom was told to watch for it to "come out".  To this day, it has never been witnessed "coming out".
5. My father is the last surviving male in his family, which means when I married and changed my name, there is no one left to carry on his family name--my maiden name. This strikes me as so sad.
6. I married my first boyfriend.  Hell, I married ALL my boyfriends! 
7. I once paid an entire month's worth of bills with only my rolled change.
8. I am allergic to tree nuts in general and deathly allergic to macadamia nuts, specifically. 
9. I lived in Utah for 4 years and never learned to ski--mostly out of protest for being made to live in Utah for 4 years. 
10. I was 26-years-old before I attended my first funeral. And it was a full-tilt, prime time Italian Catholic requiem mass with the body laid out in a blue satin casket.  Clearly, it remains fresh in my mind's eye. 
11. When driving a car, I do not like to cross traffic to make a left-hand turn preferring rather to make 3 right-hand turns instead.  Absurd, I know. 
12. I am P E T R I F I E D of vampires.  Not clowns, they are only creepy, and definitely not zombies, they are just gross, but vampires (((shudder))) are beyond frightening to me. It makes my hand go to my throat while I genuflect just thinking about them--it--those.
13. My first job was working at a mink ranch--you really do not want to know the details of that summer.
14. At the top of my game, I could type 95-words-per-minute on a typewriter with no errors and take shorthand dictation.  Sounds all very silly now that the '70s are over, but also just a little Mad Men sexy, dontcha' think.
15. I have had two Spanish-speaking husbands, lived with two Spanish-speaking Mothers-in-law AND  lived in Texas--I still can't speak Spanish.  I am a linguistic failure.

 xoxo Darya