Looking back to my own summer before high school, I realized how much I could have used someone taking an interest in me. Someone responsible and loving and without an ulterior motive; someone to help me to feel special; to feel worthy; to feel that I could do anything. So, the night before Niece started at the gym I wrote her this letter, and as I wrote, I realized THIS letter was THAT letter--this was the letter to the way-back-then Darya that no one ever wrote to her! THIS letter was really version 2.0. I was giving to myself what nobody had given to me! It is true: When no one gives it to you the first time around, you have to find a way to give it to yourself--the 2.0 version! I guess I am pretty proud of the THIS and the THAT letter, so I am sharing.
My dearest, angel.
I am so excited for you to meet Mr. Trainer Man and for you to be a part of my gym. Just remember that we ALL have to do something for exercise--it is just the way it is and the sooner we embrace this fact the better we all are for it. You will become stronger and more durable; you will learn that you can step out of your comfort zone; your mind just needs to be taught; your heart needs to believe and your body needs to just do it. You will hurt a little in the beginning, but you are not broken and you deserve good health and fitness. You are so worthy. You WILL NOT believe the amazing things your body will learn to do and the shape it will change from and in to! Let me tell you a secret: Six weeks will pass whether or not you make this change. As a matter of fact, a part of you will yell, "No, stay here where it is comfortable"; another part will say, "No, stop! You are hurting me"; still other parts will shout out, "Stop this nonsense right now! This is not good for us." But you will have to decide to push aside these failure feelings because they don't understand that you are learning to do things differently from what you have been doing! How great will it be to know you made a significant change in your own heart and body. These are the lessons most women don't ever learn. Many never. And because I know these things, I have a deeper responsibility to teach them to you. I cannot let you remain ignorant. I cannot turn away. I cannot let you slip through my fingers.
When you feel overwhelmed, just imagine days filled with the joy of movement and strength-gaining instead of anxiety and self-doubt or worse wondering what could have been if I had just done something differently. Because clearly TV watching and computer playing and phone texting are not enough, Sweetheart! I cannot promise you what your body will look like exactly, but I can promise you that the sadness in your heart will be replaced with blood pumping boldness; the loneliness in your soul will be replaced with a desire to surround yourself with other women who do powerful things; the empty feeling in your brain will be replaced with a passion for knowledge to know more and do better! And you need to realize, too, that life is not a success-only journey; that sometimes you will have to keep at something until you get it right. Just like when we were going to see Grandpa and I passed that turn on the highway. I didn't just pull the car over and take the keys out of the ignition and STOP--we aren't still sitting in the exact same place this week that we were in last week. No! You identified the problem; I asked for help; your mom guided me and we were right back on track. Boom. Done. That simple; that fast. The gym, as well as the GPS, allows for U-turns--LOL.
So, my dear one, just show up tomorrow, do what Mr. Trainer Man tells you to do and then do it all over again the next day and the next day and for the next six weeks after that and then for the rest of your life. YOUR life. YOUR new awesome life. But most importantly, Sweetie, enjoy! Enjoy what you so deserve.xoxo Darya