A Letter to My Son

Happy Birthday, Son!

I like you so much!

That may not sound like much, but 31-years ago that was very important to this young mom. And when this young mom's water broke at 12:05am on December 26th after being in the hospital for 3 weeks with pre-term labor and placenta previa, and her baby was not due to make his appearance until early February, things were a little, shall we say, tense.

But long before that, each night when I would lay my head down on my pillow or when stopped at stoplights or while hurling up and right back out of me whatever little bit of food I could get down, I would pray, "Please, Lord, just let me LIKE this child."

It may seem odd or cold or even I-don't-know-what, but I knew I would LOVE my child; I knew I would care for my baby and be there for "him" and be the best mom I could be for "him". (As a side note, I was totally convinced I was having a Sweetheart, so imagine my surprise when Dr. Lady Army Captain said, "It's a Hero." and he was whisked away to the NICU without a a name or even a peek, but thats a whole 'nother story...). I just really needed to be assured that I would LIKE my baby. It was all very simple, yet so complicated and important.

Because I ALWAYS knew I would love my baby; the life growing inside of me; even before I knew him as the Hero, I knew I loved him. Without question, I loved my Hero.

I just did not always know that I would LIKE him. And that was so important to me.

This Christmas night, standing on the porch 

with my arms around the Caveman and waving goodbye to the Hero and his Babydoll, after an amazing day spent with friends who we consider our family simply because family has precious little to do with blood to our little family; I realized how very much I like this man I call my son. And I just wanted to thank God out loud for answering that young mom-to-be's prayers.

Happy birthday, Son! I love you with all my heart, and more importantly, I like you, too!

xoxo Darya